“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.”
~Thich Nhat Hanh
Ah yes, here I am. Feeling more content…more at peace…more at home, than I have in a long, long time. How good it feels to be by the hand of so much synchronicity, bringing us to where we are right now…and to find so much happiness. Yes, it feels so. very. good. I dare say after so long, we deserve it. But above all…I can sigh a sigh of relief, of knowing deeply and feeling deeply that something much larger than life had guided us the whole way through. These past two weeks have been a lot about adjusting and getting acquainted an getting started on some big projects that we have only been able to dream about for the past several years. But now…bringing those dreams into fruition is so liberating.
I guess all of what I just wrote sounds quite mysterious, unless you have been reading this blog for sometime. If you have then you know what I’m saying. If not, I’ll just say the past few years have been about deep struggle, finding the deep truth about what actually matters to us as a family in this life, and walking away from everything we have known to be “real”. At a gathering before we moved, a friend said how we were so brave…to just walk away from everything. It seemed like an odd comment to me at the time (because I’m me), but after taking a bit to step out of that and look at it form the outside, yes, I can completely see how her comment makes sense.
We tried, you know to do the “responsible” aka. “normal” thing. We got married, had kids, bought a house, a car and a truck…Jason worked while I stayed at home with the kids. We operated outside of the “norm” with our personal choices, but at the same time tread water within it as well. However, what we quickly realized…is how it didn’t work. It was hard/impossible to live off one income. It wasn’t financially stable to home school or be a stay at home mom. And jeeze, we seriously could NOT afford to pay the bills AND eat at once! Throw in four people with gluten intolerance, you can just forget it. Despite the fact that we tried very hard to live very simply without most modern “necessities”…we just couldn’t cut it.
Signs were being blown in from every direction, whispering for us to go, to make a leap of faith, to just trust in my heart that it WILL all work out. I had visions and dreams of going…migrating, but for so long felt so bogged down in finding a way out. I tried very hard to manifest something better, something simpler, something “easier”, but eventually gave up. I couldn’t figure out how to make it happen…so I stopped trying to figure a way out and instead just focused on what the lessons were for me to still learn right where I was. To find the beauty in the here and now despite our daily struggles. The biggest lesson that I can look back and clearly see now…is that sometimes, even when you feel more ready than ever to make a change in your life…there are unseen things, unexplainable reasons…as to why…it simply is NOT the right time. Somethings are not for us to understand…somethings are for us to let go of, even when it makes absolutely no sense to do so. And sometimes we need to find patience, even in hard times, that someone or something much bigger than you and I DOES understand and know when we are ready. And to trust that when the time is right in all ways possibly out of our perception of understanding we WILL be guided in the right direction. In the early fall, I let go, I gave up, and above all I got pretty darn depressed and down in the dumps. Letting go was hard. Letting go hurt. Letting go was downright painful.
But…then, something happened. The stars aligned. I got an email. From someone who reads my blog. Someone who had read about what we were looking for and striving for as a family. Someone who needed something that we could offer. We visited. We were blown away by the synchronicity of it all. And now, we are here. All because, I put myself out there. I poured my heart out so many times…just being myself, just shining my truth. In blogging there have been many many times where I have felt the pang of the wide open internet world and beyond shining back at me…but what I always told myself is how much good is out there in the world. I see it. Maybe it’s because it’s what I choose to see, but regardless of why…I see it. And now, we are bringing that truth back around…putting it straight into the ground to nourish our bodies, our family, our community, and our planet. That’s what I believe life is made of. That is the truth of what has the power to make everything around us blossom into it’s truest sense of full potential.
Lake turned three two days after we moved into our new house. We celebrated amongst the exciting chaos of being some place new. Ate gluten free brownies amongst boxes because mama was wayyyyy to tired to whip up an actual birthday cake or pie. He didn’t complain (luckily) though! We’ve also been enjoying the joy and simplicity that candlelight brings to our dinner meal.
Exploring of course has been one of our top priorities. The land that surrounds our house, the river that flows behind it, the trails that run through the mountains across the road, the “nearby” towns, and the local library. But mostly we’ve stayed put, right here, working the soil, preparing for this season, and noticing how quickly spring has chosen to join us this year.
Gradually things are finding their places around the house as we settle in, projects are being started, life is being lived…together, with our family as a whole. It is a new way of life that we are embarking on…one that our old life could not provide us with. It is one where our family lives, works, and learns together…as one unit each and everyday…not just on nights and weekends. Both parents home, children home, the way I envision my family to be.
As I look around me and admire the beauty as spring unfolds nature’s natural beauty, I find it no coincidence that I too find myself unfolding…naturally…in the fullest sense imaginable. This is the time I have been waiting my whole life for…and it is finally here. I am truly grateful for so much, for this blog and all of the positive thoughts so many of you sent my way over the past year. It all means so much to me! It feels so good to finally be waking up.
Hi Lisa. I have just found your blog again. I forgot to add it to my reading list last time, but have now. I love this post. Good on you for taking a leap of faith. We did the same about 8 years ago, in our move to the country. It was difficult to begin with as my hubby was working away during the week for 10 months. I would never do that again, we need to be together. My husband goes out to work each day, but we would love for us both to work from home one day. I homeschool/unschool our boys and I’m also studying to be a health coach. I only read a bit of your latest hassles. Good on you for changing your blog name and putting it behind you. It is a shame you needed to do this, but the main thing is you can now move on and forget all about it. All the best with the rest of your pregnancy and the birth. I will be following your journey. Sending love and best wishes to you all. xxoo Julie
oh wow, you totally speak our very own story, loved reading this! It is so very amazing how things fall into place….We also stumbled across the farm we live on at the perfect time….so so wonderful how this universe works…
Dear Lisa…My heart is so full of happiness for you all right now!!! Truly, this is a well-deserved, beautifully unfolding, serendipitous adventure you have manifested. From the photos you have given, it looks just right. And so much space for you all ~ such a child’s dream. Is the lake nearby? I remember reading once that it is a truly lucky child to live beside a creek or a lake. I think so, too. I look forward to hearing more about your adventures…sounds like an intentional community. You intentionally manifested an intentional community? Right on.
xo Jules
P.S. How are YOU feeling? Lots of happy belly rubs to you, well, sounds like you need some foot rubs, too. xo
Love this post, Lisa… reminds me of how much has changed since our long-ago talks, and in the best possible way. All things for a reason, right? Couldn’t be happier for you all.
Lisa, I’m so happy you’re finally somewhere that makes you happy. What a blessing to your family!
xoxo
This is such a wonderful story and I’m so excited for you all! Such lessons to be learned here. I love what you said about giving up, & knowing something bigger was guiding you all! So inspiring to hear. And so awesome that it happened through your blog! I’ve had so many beautiful things also happen through my blog, finding wonderful, supportive friends, doing trades, etc. It’s been awesome! Good is everywhere!
I’m glad that things are working out for you. I’m sure it’s a huge weight lifted off your shoulders – your writing is happier and lighter! Without divulging too much personal stuff, what exactly are you and your family doing on the land and new house? Are you working for someone else in exchange for a home, etc – like a bartering situation? It still seems a little vague, and I have been following your blog for a little bit. I’m not being nosy, but just curious that’s all. I like your out-of-the-box solution!
I found you through Ginny’s Yarn Along, and am happy I did! We live on just two acres right now–with six kids, a dozen hens, a goat, a jersey cow and a jersey heifer, but we are building on 34 acres and have plans for gardens, fruit trees and bees. I’m 48, so it’s a late start, but I have tended to start everything in my life rather late.
God bless you in all your endeavors!
My heart is so happy for your family.
Your words were a joy to read.
Enjoy!
Lots of Love!
I am so happy for you, Mama.
Thank you so much for your beautiful blog and beautiful story. I am so happy for your family. My family struggles with this as well. I think a lot of families do. Right now I am working full time and my husband is staying at home. It is exhausting and we are having trouble making ends meet. One option is for him to go out and get a job, but that feels like stepping away from what we want as a family. We all want to be at home, nurturing the earth and each other, educating ourselves and following our passions. Your story gives me hope that it is possible for all of us.
So happy for you mama. I hope it is truly a place for your family to blossom.
I am so happy for you, your post today made me cry – beautiful!
How wonderful for you and your family, I wish you every happiness in your new home, it sounds absolutely perfect!!!
you are walking in beauty…thank you for sharing your journey. xo
So beautiful and so inspiring! Happy for you and your family Lisa!
Waiting here for Everyman.
I couldn’t be happier for you Lisa. I have to admit I was thinking of you and the fam quite a bit wondering? I am so glad that everything is falling into place…it’s amazing when you give it up…it usually falls into place.
Here’s to new beginnings and waking up!
wow… being a new reader i don’t know of the struggles you endured, yet reading your words here i can imagine (and relate). i hope your dreams for your family continue to come true!
Absolutely thrilled to read this. Very happy for you all!
this post makes me so happy! i’ve been reading for a couple of years so i don’t know the entire struggle but i’ve sensed some of it. i’ve been waiting for this post for awhile, knowing it would come. i’m very happy for your family!
I have so much respect for your courage as well. I have been living abroad since 2009 and just making ends meet. My partner and I decided that even though we have jobs here and can get by, this just isn’t living the way we want to for the rest of our lives and certainly not a situation we can have a family in. So, like you, we are letting go. At the end of the school year (we’re teachers), we are moving back to America–to a city I’ve never been to where we don’t have jobs. But somehow, it will work out. We just need to have hope and courage. I wish you all the best.
Wow, what a lovely, inspiring post. Sounds like you have found your home on this earth, enjoy!
Amazing how things come together!!!
lovely lovely life!
Lisa, you have made my Monday! This post is so wonderful to read, I am glad you are ‘home’!
a beautiful heartfelt group of words with lovely pictures to add to the scene . happy for you !
It is so good to read this Lisa. I am very happy for your family.
Wow. I am so happy for you.
It looks amazing. Been wondering where all this was leading.
amazing. xxx