7:00am I am up early. I squeeze in a quick shower before Jason leaves for work. Trying to get ready for a day full of home schooling celebrations.
7:20am I throw on some clothes and head down stairs. I have to get together something to share at the potluck lunch. I whisk the dressing and set it aside. Get out the quinoa I made the night before. Start soaking the cranberries and dried apricots. I chop the avocados and scallions.
7:30am I wake up Kayla and Bella. They need to gather the rest of their costumes and get dressed. Today they are putting on a play with their friends in the home school talent show. We NEED to be on time today. Kayla won’t get up.
7:45am Sorrel wakes up. He is still not feeling well and won’t let me put him down. He’s crying. Things are getting difficult. Lake and Bella eat a bagel, but I don’t even get to warm up Lake’s. I can’t make breakfast today. There’s no time. Bella goes to jump up on the counter to get a plate. She knocks all of my food prep on the ground. I get mad. Now I am set back. I am yelling. I am doing all of this for them. I am frustrated.
8:00am I make more dressing, but I don’t grind the coriander for it. I’m pressed for time. The quinoa salad tastes off to me. I’m hoping no one else will notice. I wish I had more ground coriander, but I don’t. Kayla still isn’t getting up.
8:15am Lake goes to wake up Hawthorn. They both get dressed. Hawthorn brushes his teeth. I still have eaten nothing. Sorrel is dumping all of the spices onto the floor in the kitchen.
8:30am I scream up the stairs to Kayla that we are leaving. She needs to get up. We are supposed to leave by 9:00am.
8:45am Kayla and Bella eat a bagel. Their costume stuff is in bags by the door. They have half of their costumes on. I tell them we have 15 minutes. We NEED to be on time.
8:50am I ask Kayla to brush Lake’s teeth and get him in the car. She says she will get him in the car, but won’t brush his teeth. I finish the quinoa salad. There is a mountain of dishes in the sink. They’ll have to stay there till later. I throw a bagel in the oven for me and take a sip of my cold tea. It would taste so much better warm, but today is a busy day.
9:00am We should be leaving, but I still need to get Sorrel dressed. The kids are working on packing up their things into the van. Lake wants me to put his coat on and get him in the car, but I am busy, so he is standing outside of the van shivering and waiting. I try to eat quickly.
9:15am As I go to put Sorrel in his car seat, he wants to nurse. He is sick and doesn’t feel well. So, I bring him back in the house and sit down for a couple minutes. Some days I wonder what the heck I am doing. This is so much work. Lake finally gets in the van, but now Hawthorn is back inside.
9:30am We are officially pulling out of the driveway. Technically, since our home school group starts at 10am, we aren’t late yet. We were aiming to get there early to help set up, but I don’t think anyone there actually expected to see us at 9:30am (*wink*). I tried my best. That’s all I can expect from myself.
10:05am We made it and shuffle into the building. Kayla brings our potluck dish into the room where we will eat together later. Everyone else scurries into the gym. We’re good. We get congratulated on being on time. The day is fun. Everyone plays with friends and has a good time. I get to connect with other stay at home home schooling mamas and their families. The potluck lunch is delicious. I am so glad to be here. I feel connected to this path in life I have chosen.
1:00pm It’s time to go. Sorrel is tired and really not feeling well. He is getting upset. I am trying to gather everyone else so we can get the van packed before Sorrel falls asleep. He really needs a nap.
1:15pm Sorrel is asleep on my shoulder. My plan is not working. Gosh I wish I could snap my fingers and everyone would magically pop into the van. I try to put him in his car seat, but he wakes up and cries. Ugh.
1:30pm We are all in the van now, with the addition of a few extra brownies hidden for me, because that’s the kind of day it feels like for me. We head over to see a homeopath nearby. Sorrel has been sick for a week and I am looking to find him a bit of relief.
1:50pm We arrive at our destination. Early! And Sorrel is sleeping. I let the kids play at the park across the street so Sorrel can sleep in the van for a while. I use my time to clean up all the trash on the floor of the van.
4:00pm Home. I am beat. When we walk in the house it’s a mess. I forgot what it looked like when we left. I need help. I ask Kayla to play with Sorrel for 15 minutes, just so I can quick get everything straightened up.
4:05pm First, I start a fire in the wood stove.
4:15pm Kayla takes Sorrel upstairs to play. I run outside with my camera and forget what I was supposed to be doing. Instead I just noticed the stark quiet and the crisp air around me. So I stayed out there and soaked it all in and took some pictures.
4:30pm Kayla calls out the door that my 15 minutes is up. Shoot. I didn’t clean up. I go inside and ask for just a couple more minutes. Pllleeeasee?? Now I sound like them.
4:45pm The living room is cleaned up now. The boys are upstairs. So I take Sorrel outside the burn the paper and cardboard in the burn barrel. It has been sitting in a pile in the laundry room for too long. I am tired of tripping over it.
4:50pm Sorrel and I watch the fire flames dance. He tells me it’s hot and claps his hands. The sky is pink as the sun sets. The mountains are beautiful and quiet. This is the place where I can deeply appreciate this busy day we are dancing through.
5:00pm Back inside. I do the mountain of dishes in the sink. I notice how much different the house looks and feels from when we got home now that it’s cleaned up. The mess is something Jason will never see. By the time he gets home, the house will be back in order. Often I wonder if he has any idea of just how much I do each day. Most days I do not think he does.
5:15pm I put more wood in the wood stove. Then nurse Sorrel on the couch. He is getting tired again. Poor sick baby.
5:30pm Its tacos for dinner. Bella opens the cans of re fried beans into a pot and puts them on the stove to warm up. At this point I am too tired to be very creative. Maybe warmed up re fried beans is all we need. We’ve got all the fixings, so that way it can stay simple. I am not even going to chop the olives. That’s my take on it tonight at least.
6:00pm Jason gets home. He suggests left over chicken fried up with some onions and spices. I say go for it. He can take over.
6:20pm I put a load of laundry in the washer machine. I am behind a few loads. I eat some onions and chicken on my way back through the kitchen.
7:00pm I sit down to nurse Sorrel. He is falling asleep. I let him. It is quiet. The boys are in their room playing; the girls in theirs. Bella still has dots on her face from her costume in the play. I wonder when she will wash them off.
7:05pm I put Sorrel in bed and we eat dinner.
7:30pm Kayla reads Harry Potter out loud to everyone on the couch. I hang the laundry around the wood stove to dry.
8:00pm Jason goes to put Lake to bed. Things are getting quiet.
8:15pm The girls go to watch a movie in their room alone. Hawthorn waits for Jason to put him to bed. My nightly duties are done so I can relax.
8:30pm I upload the pictures I took today onto the laptop and think about my day. It was so full, just as most of the days are, but when I look back at all that I did and know that I am here, enjoying this life with those I love most, it makes it all so worth it. I make myself a cup of tea and sit alone in front of the wood stove. I sit for hours to decompress. This stay at home mothering gig is just about as hard as it gets in my opinion. Perfectly perfect in the most chaotic way possible.